Finding Balance

I can't believe the second year of my retirement is coming to an end. It's gone by so quickly and yet, it seems to have been at least three or four years since my last day of work. I think the Covid pandemic blurs the timeline quite a bit. 

While retirement planning I envisioned years of excellent health, but events this past year have warned me not to take it for granted.

My yoga practice was a bit of a struggle in 2024. After the car accident and pains in my neck and shoulder, I laid off headstand for awhile. Things didn't get better, in fact pain started in my hands, feet and forearms. So I have been wondering how much I should push. I've never subscribed to the 'No Pain No Gain' school but I also don't think it's good to back off entirely. I remember when medical advice was to cut out walking after a heart attack; now people are encouraged to resume physical activity. As part of my rehab I've been doing prescribed exercises (nerve flossing, sit-to-stand, lifting dumbbells, etc.). Acupuncture and massage also help.

I often think about what Rob's Dad said, that he was "rusting out" while his mom was "wearing out." I'll try to find a balance and learn to listen to what my body is telling me. 

In my work life I would start most days with yoga, and hit the studio several times a week. Covid interrupted the studio visits and introduced online classes. I still have a regular practice but I've added QiGong. My body loves it, and it's easier to incorporate when travelling or on the boat. Sometimes I do the routine in the morning, sometimes in the afternoon.  Although I find beginning my day with mindful movement brings a healthy momentum, some days I lounge in my pjs until well past noon. Delicious! Something in me rebels against a regular routine. As long as not frequently indulged because it turns into lack-a-wanna and slides into ennui.

My Bullet Journal has been an extremely useful tool, both pre- and post-retirement. I've created a Habit Tracker so I can keep a record of daily habits for a view of the month at a glance. It's a good reminder to make wellness activities a priority. Regular headings include yoga/ qi gong / meditation / sleep / exercise / alcohol intake. I also like drawing in little hearts next to diary entries that fill me with gratitude. Although sometimes it makes me feel a bit like a grade school girl, it is fun to open a page and see happy hearts floating across the page. A monthly To Do list for tasks, with space for a checkmark or arrow to Bring Forward. A hangover from workdays, but it works!

This past September I discovered drop-in fitness classes at Toronto Community Centres, and even better, 50% off discounts for people over 60! Checking out QiGong classes at Matty Eckler and Tai Chi at centres located in the Beaches, Fairmont, and Scarborough has introduced me to new neighbourhoods. 

I tried Tai Chi at four different centres with four different teachers. Each had a different approach and followed different styles. So far I haven't been able to commit a full Tai Chi sequence to memory as I have with Mawang Dui QiGong. Mirroring the actions of the teacher and the class is soothing but not the same as leading myself through  the steps. To fully learn Tai Chi I will have to choose one style and make the sequence a daily habit. In the meantime I am enjoying my QiGong practice(s).

In the Matty Eckler QiGong class the teacher demonstrated some Tiger moves and we got a taste of a more playful form. After learning movements for tiger - clawing, stretching, walking, and washing - we were then encouraged to put together our own sequences, growling and purring as we went. Who knows, I may 'play' some tiger QiGong with Nora when she gets a bit older.

I'm also working on Mindful Dragon QiGong with Mimi Kuo-Deemer online. It is The Year of the Dragon, after all. This sequence is so flowing and elegant, I'd love to be able to commit it to memory.

For the month of January I signed up for some additional Wall Pilates classes online. So I warm up of wall pilates, and then alternate days between Yoga and Qi Gong practice. It seems to be a good approach, but it takes a bit of time.

For much of December I meditated for 30 minutes before yoga or QiGong, and it did deepen the flavour of the mindful movement. Now I am trying to finish with meditation or pranayama, even if it just for 5 or 10 minutes.

 

Qi Gong

At this year's Yoga Conference I spent a day learning more about Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), acupressure and Qi Gong. Instructor Noel Wright shared her insights on the subject of Chinese Medicine Meets Yoga and we tasted some brief yoga sequences on the mat for each of the elements. TCM is a very complex system - our instructor studied 2,500 hours, and earned a Bachelors degree and a Master’s degree in Acupuncture. Will I be able to remember everything? Not a chance. 

TCM is over 2,000 years old and is based on the concept that the human body is part of the universe. Our bodies are little “worlds'' living in a bigger world. Qi (energy), must be kept in harmony, and there are similarities to Ayurvedic medicine (prana). However, TCM recognizes 5 elements and strives to keep them in balance. Wood feeds fire, and water will reduce an abundance of fire. Metal feeds water, and earth will reduce an abundance of the element. Qi gong sequences can be designed to address imbalances and harmonize elements in the body, or can also done in their corresponding seasons.

The names of the Qi Gong sequences are lyrical: Opening and Closing the Gates (also called knocking on heaven's gate); Reaching for the Moon; Dancing Rainbow. Qi Gong Tutorials by Mimi Kuo-Deemer were recommended and there are lots on You Tube. I found this 10 minute program for beginners easy to follow along and it's described as ideal for morning or evening practice.

We spent some time navigating acupressure points along our meridians. These points have highly specific and less than lyrical names. Liver 3 is a primary point to unblock what is often our most stressed organ; Large Intestine 4 boosts immunity; Stomach 36 promotes general wellness; Lung 7 relieves allergies. Many swear by the benefits of acupuncture. I've never been for a treatment, but I wouldn't rule it out.

Tapping the area for Lung 1 and 2 felt fantastic, and Welcome Fragrance brought almost immediate relief to my sinus.

We also did a brief face massage that felt absolutely wonderful. Lightly tapping the top of the head for a minute or two, gently pressing facial acupressure points and spending some time on the ears. Why not indulge myself more often?

A workbook was provided as part of the day's take-away and it will be a useful reference for future play.

R & R - Restore and Recover

Ugh. Laid low by a bad bug. I've tested myself - it's not COVID but it's got me coughing so much my ribs are hurting. Missed Heliconian, phoned in to book club and missed my yoga practice for two days, until I found this great resource on restorative poses for Covid 19 Recovery. Free to download and made available from Iyengar Yoga UK. Many of the poses are bringing great relief, especially the supported forward bends.

Yoganusasanam 2022

Marlene and teachers from Yoga Centre Toronto used to make frequent pilgrimages to the Iyengar Institute in Pune to study with BKS, Gita or Preshant, and come back inspired by the teachings and "full of India," as Andy Orr liked to say. We all looked forward to their return to infuse our practices with revitalized insight.

This year RIMYI streamed Yoganusasanam 2022, making the teachings more accessible to those of us practising at home. Another example of how Covid and technology combined to create/accelerate opportunity. 

The in-person event took place over 6 days, with 3 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon. Abhijahta Iyengar led the session. My teacher Niron was among the international students in the crowded hall. 

I got to avoid the flight and rickshaw strike! Participating remotely from home wassn't the same experience - especially as I worked through the 30 hours of online sessions over 2 weeks, versus 6 days. Even so, I find myself cycling through the familiar emotions I would experience during the thirty day sadhanas here in Toronto... Eagerness! Resistance! Resentment! Determination! Openness! Curiousity! Insight! 

Verse 1 of the Patanjali yoga sutra is 'Atha Yoganusasanam' or 'now begins the study of yoga.'

Day 1 - practice to refresh after long journeys

Day 2 - arms and legs as organs of action in standing poses and pranayama

Day 3 - twists (make space in trunk!) 

Day 4 - backbends (keep tailbone in)

Day 5 - pranayama before asana inversions and twists

Day 6 - pranayama before an integrated practice 

Balance and equanimity.... Courage and caution must go together. Do not overdo, do not underdo.

Aging is a fact of life, but don't use it as an excuse. Keep practising. Although you might not physically 'do' as well as in your youth, maintain the sense of direction in the asana. (i.e. if abdomen does not touch the thighs in uttanasana physically, keep that intention in the movement).

Props can be used to make a pose more attainable, or more challenging, or be used to sensitize (is my back straight? buttocks in?)

Yoga is 90% emotion. Feel the effect on the body. The aura and expanse of the energy. 

The imprint of one pose in the next pose (i.e. moving from sirsana to ustrasana to dondasana). The horizontal block placed at the buttocks imprinted the feeling of buttocks going into the body that was echoed in headstand.

Don't forget revolved versions of poses! Not just triangle, but also janu sirsana, sirsana, ardha chandrasa.

Preshant taught a couple sessions emphasizing how breath, body and mind are intertwined. A 'simple' pose provides tremendous opportunity to explore breath and mind. Placing blankets under buttocks, then lumbar, then chest producing different effects. The subtleties and differences in thinking about 'taking' a breath or 'receiving' a breath. Perspective of doing/being done, object/subject.

For depression and anxiety, pranayama in supported asana can be helpful. Support the head to quieten the brain. Remove discomfort. The subconscious mind will come to the surface rather than retreat into dullness.

There may be initial resistance to daily practice, but commit to 15-20 minutes. Usually after 4 or 5 asana resistance is gone. Practice! Practice! Practice!

Pranayama can precede asana for practitioners. Pranayama before asana on Days 5 and 6 for 45-60 minutes, with a 10-15 minute pause before asana. In my morning practice, do I want to incorporate a few longer sessions into the week, or 5-10 minutes at the start each morning?

Mahamudra - don't be overly aggressive in the posture, if bent leg is popping up sit on a height. Keep the back concave; relax the throat and diaphram. Exhale and press down on thigh; inhale, sides of the trunk lift up and elongate; then tilt head down to bandha (but don't round back!); inhale; pause and engage abdominals to press back into to spine; exhale; release bandhas and breathe normally for a few cycles. Repeat.

"After pranayama, the breath wants to stay with you a little longer. I hope you are able to taste that." (Abhi)

For me, this is the magic of shapeshifting.

Father Joe

Father Joe is a Catholic priest and Iyengar teacher who founded the Kripa Foundation in India. 

The foundation works with those suffering from addiction, including sex workers and AIDs patients, to introduce them to the healing powers of yoga and encourage practice. Father Joe was mentored both by BKS Iyengar and Mother Theresa on this spiritual journy.

I'd heard of Father Joe, and learned a bit about his mission in a documentary about Iyengar. One night I saw something in my Insta feed that there would be a three day workshop starting the following day and signed up right away. 

Each session was two hours. Poses were held anywhere from 1-5 minutes and were all supported. The sequences demanded concentration and physical effort, while the support helped to sustain the poses. I felt myself drawn inward as I explored effortless effort. Often the sequence would be designed to help you go deeper,  for example with uttanasana and dandasana. 

One phrase that stuck with me - Don't "work out" - work in.

Have already incorporated some of these into my morning routine.

Full Blood Moon Eclipse

The moon was full November 19th (3:59 am), and between 2am and 4am I could have gotten a good look at the Blood Moon eclipse in progress. Not sure if it was too cloudy, because I stayed in my bed while debating if I would get up to see the phenomena first hand or enjoy photographic evidence. I chose the latter. Google image search for Blood Moon eclipse reveals the stunning images taken by lunar photographers.

The Native Americans called the November full moon the beaver moon because the rodents are active in preparation for winter at this time of year, according to NASA. Once eclipsed, the beaver moon morphed into a “blood moon” because of its reddish or rusty tone.

I had attended a yoga class Linda D was giving for charity, and she did a mini moon salutation. It's been awhile since I attempted one but really enjoyed it. There are a variety of different Chandra Namaskar sequences posted online. Maybe I will find one I can make a more frequent night time practice. 

Focused attention

Some notes on wellness

Yoga with Uday Bhosale

Two classes with a new-to-me teacher this weekend really brought home that yoga doesn't need to be rigorous or focused on advanced poses to be effective.

Focused attention can be brought to the simplest of movements. Sitting in virasana in slight variations; observing the rotation in your ankles, feeling and shifting focus of where the weight is placed on the heel in tadasana.

 On Uday's site, a quote from B.K.S.

“Action is movement with intelligence. The world is filled with movement. What the world needs is more conscious movement, more action.”

Notes on pranayama

Continuing pranayama with Marlene through October and November.

One day, such a sense of sadness arising. I didn't stop my practise but said "hello", as in a 'Beautiful Monster' meditation. Not trying to dismiss, conquer or change the feeling; just accepting it. Acknowledging physical sensations of swelling in the chest, tightness in the throat, pain in the right shoulder. Just observing and not trying to fix anything, but also feeling it fade. Keeping eyes open but unfocused rather than keeping them shut.

Breath

Feelings of overwhelm and fatigue... keeping eyes open and focused about 3-4 feet ahead, focusing on the in-breath. Twenty breaths.

Upward Spiral

Everything is interconnected. Gratitude improves sleep. Sleep reduces pain. Reduced pain improves your mood. Improved mood reduces anxiety, which improves focus and planning. Focus and planning help with decision making. Decision making further reduces anxiety and improves enjoyment. Enjoyment gives you more to be grateful for, which keeps that look of the upward spiral going. Enjoyment also makes it more likely you'll exercise and be social, which in turn will make you happier... 

Circuits in your brain are an interconnected... with a couple of tiny changes you can reverse the trend... Don't feel like hanging out with people? Go for a run. Don't feel like doing work? Go outside. Can't sleep? Think of what you are grateful for. Worrying too much? Stretch. The Upward Spiral, Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time

 

Are You Understanding?

Three days of online classes with Zubin, with the emphasis on playing and exploring using different asana.

"Are you understanding?" a frequent question.

"You are not just the shadow, or external view of asana. What is happening on the inside, what is happening with the breath? Are you understanding?"

"Think of the different dimensions within yourself - past, present, future - all being expressed in the asana. Are you understanding?"

"Body, breath, mind do not need to be separate areas of study. Try to incorporate each of these three in the asana and do not overuse one at the expense of the other. Are you understanding?"

Pondering on each as I am doing the asana, asking the question of myself. Am I understanding? This is not a static answer but understood in the moment.

Since the intensive I've been playing a bit more within the poses, just for the delight and exploration. For example, in ardha uttanasana, with palms on the facing wall, walk in a bit so your heels come more under your torso than under your hips. Something I haven't done in awhile is bow pose, rocking over to one side and then the other, just for fun. Awakening.

Experiencing yoga with Prashant Iyengar

This was my second class with Prashant Iyengar; held over a four day period, three hours at a time, back in June. He was teaching from RUMYI  in Pune to 400 students internationally. I'm just catching up on my notes now, although it has definitely influenced my morning practice this past month!

Again and again he made the point that some things cannot be taught but must be experienced first hand to be learned.  Yoga is a heuristic subject that enables someone to discover or learn something for themselves.

"It is a mockery to be teaching this subject in a four day class but I will give you something to work with."

The first day we were asked to hold out our arms for an extended period and observe how different cells are activated the longer we held the pose. We were also asked to 'do' janu sirsana in both 'martial culture' and 'supplicant manner' and observe how body/mind/breath work together to create different states of being. 

The second day we returned again and again to trikonasana as the anchor pose, to see how our experiences of the pose changed depending on the pose that preceded. "Trikonasana should work on you, not the other way around... you are the benefactor." 

Think carefully about the intention of your practise on the day. Is it to relax, to energize, to cool? Think about breathing with that intention; use three exhales to ignite the asana. 

Breath is not ours, it is ageless... body and mind grow old. I like this idea. Breath is an element we have available to us but we do not inhabit it like we do our body or mind.

The third day we considered how to commence, depending on external conditions: the weather, our age, our physical condition. Using exhalation to deepen experience. Considering our body/breath/mind as we activate; are activating; are activated. Being aware on these levels does change the experience. 

The way you commence practice can expel torpor or negative states. Consider sirsana, viparita dandasana, supta bodakonasana & select which is most suitable. Light on Yoga can help with regard to selecting poses suited to certain conditions, but remember that even supta virasana can be done in different ways, it does not always need to be done in a restorative manner. 

Day four, we considered chitta. Asanas condition different parts of the body, but observe how they also benefit the mind or psychology. While asana have temporary effects on the body; breath conditions the mind; pranayama works for transformation. Explore these effects. Don't drive out positive conditions when expelling the negative! Don't overdo or you may undo. Spend as much attention on how you are coming into and out of the pose as you do on alignment while in the pose.

----

experiment 

- in forward bends, try breathing from the back

- in pranayama, try: breathing below the lungs

- lying supine, take a brick wrapped in towel or foam brick, and place it under sacrum; then under lumbar; then under dorsal... observe the different effects on breath 

- lying in prone position with bolster horizontal under chest / under pelvis...don't obstruct nose (especially good after backbending)

- try using the different sounds of gods' names during pranayama....Rama on inhale / Krishna exhale (other gods names can also be substituted (Gavinda, Hare), point is that the different names have different effects; try without saying a name and making just a sound... different effects) 

"300 years ago people didn't believe in bacteria but that did not mean they didn't exist"

Rooted in Practice

The six day sadhana with Abhijata was called Rooted in Practice. and a chance to explore some new approaches to familiar postures. Although the pandemic was at new heights in India, she was still able to teach from the Institute in Pune. 

In my daily routine I usually do 30 minutes in the morning, whereas the sadhana offered two hours at the start of each day.  The additional practice time helped warm up my body and psyche to go a bit further and find the benefit of greater ease where it may not have existed before. 

Taking quarter day vacations was a treat, if not a full retreat, as four of these days was followed by a work day.

Time flew...  Abhi would instruct different versions for 'youngsters' and 'elderly.' I found myself going back and forth between the two categories, depending on my energy level. As gratifying as it was to keep up with the youngsters in full arm balance, I was more than happy to choose the modified version for the standing split pose (Urdhva Prasarita Eka Padasana). At least my ego proved flexible!

The connection between breath and asana is so rich! Using breath on the exhale to power full arm balance, using breath on the exhale to go deeper on a forward bend, using the inhale to go deeper in a forward bend.

Twists. Ugh. They were really not agreeing with me on Day Two. I had no strength to call on but persevered, perhaps to my detriment (they totally wore me out)! 

Day Three and Four, really loved moving from down dog to up dog; and also from to Parsvottanasana/Intense Side Stretch to Warrior Three.

There were some great reminders on how to use props to go deeper. And an important new insight for seated forward bends, to place a blanket down on the sticky mat so your legs don't grab the surface and can enjoy more freedom of movement (what a difference!)

I will be working on Paschimottanasana (Forward Bend) for awhile. It's a pose that has always been challenging. Using a chair to slightly exaggerate the angle invited gravity to ease a bit further: first, sit forward on the chair (place a bolster to help the chest meet the leg); next, sit on the floor in front of the chair and bend forward; third do the forward bend on the floor, applying the lessons learned from the first and second attempts. 

Recordings of the classes are only available for a short time and I've already gone back to redo Day Four - a potpourri of different poses.

I find myself once again grateful for the virtual opportunity to study with Abhijata. 

Ashaya yoga

Years ago I spent a weekend with Todd Norian at the Yoga Conference - back then he was teaching Anasura. Norian has now branched off on his own to develop Ashaya yoga, which ties together the study of yoga, chakras, and the five elements.

Having studied under the Iyengar method I am more used to thinking of the bandhas; and with yin yoga, the idea of chi and meridians.

Five sessions were offered online for free, and I signed up, curious to learn how chakras could be applied to a yoga practice.

I found the classes to be an intoxicating blend of chanting, asana, meditation and pranayama; blended with sound and flow and philosophy.

Five sessions curated for each of the five chakras. 

• 
  Muladhara, base of spine, earth 
• Svadhisthana, sacral region, water
• Manipura, navel, fire
• Anahata, heart, air
• Vishuddha, throat, sky
• Ajna, brow (third eye), light 'om'
• Sahasrara, crown, consciousness

Some of what Todd was saying sounded like poetry.

"We come from the stars and heavens...We are spiritual beings having a human experience."

"Breath is the medium between our humanity and divinity." 

The middle chakra, located in the heart region, lies between the two triangles of humanity and divinity."

I really appreciated the thought that had gone into sequencing. 

I wasn't particularly smitten with the asana portion and found some of the postural alignment could be outright dangerous to people without an existing yoga practice. Still, the poses were chosen to suit the chakra and bring focus and awareness to the energy within. 

Overall happy with my experience and impressed with the level of thought and design in each session.

Todd has written a memoir in which he describes his spiritual journey, including betrayals by two gurus (John Friend of Anasura and Amrit Desai of Kripalu); as well as a spiritual break that landed him in a psych ward.  Ashaya yoga is a blend of teachings he has learned and applied along the way.

Right Hand

Out for a walk on an icy day, I slipped and fell as I was making my way down the path into the ravine. 

The phrase, "my right hand man," suddenly became very real to me. I found my grip soft and it was difficult to do so many things I usually take for granted... like getting dressed in the morning, opening doors, making ablutions. Sometimes I could sub in with my left but not having a right hand was such a compromise. This may have been the first time I  thought , "what if this doesn't get better?" 

The swelling wasn't too bad so I figured in a day or two things would be back to normal. In the meantime, I tried to use my right hand consciously as I did my morning yoga. I didn't stay off it, but eased into poses that put weight on it and then observed the aches and pains. 

I did expect it to hurt for awhile, but after three weeks it was still hard for me to do certain tasks and poses like dog pose were getting harder on my hand instead of easier.

Finally got around to calling the doctor and arranging for an xray and ultrasound. The xray technician let me look over her shoulder when she was viewing the images on screen. There was my right hand, those were my actual bones... and that, well that was a hairline break. Weirdly disembodied experience. Next I saw the imaging tech, who insisted on focusing on the wrist. I had to ask her three times and then finally insist that she steer the paddle to where the fracture had been in the xray. She kept insisting the doctor's req was for the wrist only. I left the ultrasound session realizing that sometimes you really have to advocate for results in the health care system.

Aging! 

Hopefully I will have good health and mobility for a few more decades. The thought of not being able to garden, play the uke, get dressed in the morning... it has made me very appreciative of these day to day privileges. True blessings!

Marlene!

Four months ago I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to take another class with Marlene when she suffered her stroke. Now she's back to teaching online and has made a strong recovery. Yoga was a part of the healing journey. In the classes I have heard her say, when she couldn't do asana, she could still focus on her breath. Inspiring. 

In January I took her asana classes and in February I have been enjoying the pranayama class. Guided practice is recorded and I go back to it at least a couple of times throughout the week until the next class. It is scheduled Wednesdays at noon - such a perfect time, smack in the middle of the week.

I emailed Marlene with some questions and she suggested we set aside a phone call. So good to hear her voice! I asked her to please write a book about what she was doing and learning on her recovery from the stroke, but she said she's too busy with the other two books she has on the go - one about the 100 days of practice that was published on the Yoga Centre Toronto site during the lockdown.

I have so come to appreciate that the yoga poses can be modified not just to your level of practice, but how you are feeling on the day. So my question to Marlene was about the challenge of knowing how far to push yourself. I don't want to consistently under-do, nor do I want to overdo. How do you find that balance in the moment? There are no easy answers as she says that is also her biggest challenge these days.

She asked how much time I was spending in front of the computer, certain that one of the contributing factors of her stroke was the time she had spent hunched in front of the keyboard. It's true that working from home I'm not taking as many breaks from being in front of the screen, whether it is typing away or being seated for Zoom meetings. It really is such an unnatural posture, and not good for long uninterrupted periods.

In addition to taking a break from sitting at least once an hour, Marlene recommended Vipirita Karani a couple of times throughout the day; leaving the bolster set up for ease of practice and as a reminder. The pose is an antidote for tired and achy legs and the time out a good opportunity to take 20 breaths.

Sad news today that will take awhile to absorb. I was happy to be a member of the community for many years, and the teachers, classes and sadhanas  have been truly life changing. The impact of the centre lives on. The physical building will close, but the spirit will live on.

YCT Permanently Closing

It is with deep sorrow that we announce, as of today, Wednesday December 23, 2020, Yoga Centre Toronto is permanently closing. Many businesses have been at the mercy of this global pandemic for nine months and counting, and this decision was necessary as YCT now faces insolvency.

First and foremost, thank you to Marlene. You have enriched countless lives with your vast knowledge. YCT was known as the epicentre of Iyengar teaching in Toronto and that would not have been possible without you.

Thank you to all the YCT teachers. Your commitment to the centre and work to spread the joy and practice of Iyengar yoga will always be forever remembered and appreciated. 

To our community: thank you to all our dedicated students for supporting YCT over the years and throughout the pandemic. You are the unsung heroes. In a world where there are a myriad of choices regarding health and wellness, you chose YCT and for that, we are incredibly grateful. Obviously, this is not the outcome we were all striving for and we thank all of you for encouragement and patience.

Moving forward, know that this should not be the end of Iyengar yoga for you. While this pandemic has brought many challenges, it has also opened doors to continue your practice in ways we never were able to before. The opportunities for virtual teachings across the globe are vast and inspiring and we encourage you to take advantage of them. To assist, we have included contact information of YCT teachers that will continue to provide classes privately.

The YCT community enriched lives, pushed boundaries, wrestled with tough decisions, fought for victories and overcame setbacks. This is not a failure and it is not an ending. As we now close our doors, we are thankful and celebrate the journey that was so rewarding. As we turn this page, we look forward to the future and what it has in store for all of us.

“Yoga is a light, which once lit, will never dim. The better your practice, the brighter the flame.” B.K.S. Iyengar

Abhi online

Abhijata Iyengar taught online for 4 days to honour the 102nd years birth anniversary (14 December) of Yogacharya BKS Iyengar (December 11 - 14). This was a welcome mini-intensive, as morning sessions were each two hours long.

Since it isn't possible to get direct feedback on how you are doing the asana in such popular sessions, there is actually all the more incentive to look within.

Am I pushing myself enough / too much?

What is my alignment?

How can I do this pose for my shoulder? My elbow? My hip?

How can I do this pose for my mind?

To help illustrate poses she had several 'models' that were demonstrating in the spotlight, sometimes with modifications.  A familiar body was Raya, who I was able to take in-person classes with at Yoga Centre Toronto, in previous years. He looked well.

This didn't feel like a presentation to a crowd, yet  the number of people in the sessions was 500 - 900 people, depending on the day. It is interesting that there can be a sense of such strong connection. I think it probably helps the production value is not too slick, and to observe the challenges they are facing trying to make their broadcasts around the world, struggling with Zoom as so many of us do.

I may never actually get to Pune, but I did get to see the facility where BKS taught and practised for so many years. (Previous sessions offered by Abhi and Preshant were in smaller spaces.)

Hoping there are more sessions to come in the future!

 

Mindbending with Preshant

Being able to take online yoga classes during these times of Covid has been a godsend. 

There have been the classes close to home, with Marlene, Niren, Jocelyn, Stephanie and Jane. There have also been classes with Iyengar teachers in India: Zubin, Abhi, and now Prashant. He is the son of BKS Iyengar, brother to Gita, and head of the Institute in Pune.

Many students worldwide travel to Pune for the privilege of studying with the Iyengars and their senior teachers, however as many classes have moved online, these too have become easier to access.

I'd been looking forward to Preshant Iyengar's classes, originally scheduled in September/October, however he caught Covid and the sesssions were suspended indefinitely. Thankfully Prashant recovered quickly from the illness and sessions were soon rescheduled. 

I overheard someone from YCT grumble about Prashant's classes. Practitioners either click with his unique style.... or don't.  For these online classes, more than 400 students were signed up, so Prashant definitely does have his fans. Although a bit of a philosophic rambler, he encourages practitioners to experience the poses in new ways as he explores poses from different perspectives. 

Just as in meditation, I found my mind wandering as it went exploring, off on a tangent of its own and then back again to listen to Prashant. There was ample opportunity to feel and experience the points being made. 

Prashant shared that his father did not practise asana for 80 years, he explored asana; many asana were no longer available to him after 60 years or age, or 70 etc. The aim is not for perfect alignment or perfect asana.

Class was taught to all physical levels of capability including those with debilitating conditions who had to modify the poses to supine only. Still, the yoga could be done.

...

Weekend One: We studied 4 poses: adho mukha savasana (downward dog), trikonasana (triangle), Utthita Parsvakonasana (side angle), and Setu Bandha Sarvangasana (bridge). Doing each with focus on the inhale, on the exhale, on the mind, on alignment, eyes open, eyes closed. He talked about "three sides of a coin" and how focusing on one while using the others to support can totally change the experience. He spoke of how inserting a pause into a sentence can change the entire meaning of a sentence, and so too, a pause in the pose can change its purpose. Using the poses, rather than doing the poses. The next day we focused on triangle pose, and he spoke about bringing your 'right mind,' not necessarily the full mind, to the practise. Strengthening will to choose the view. 

Weekend Two: we did triangle pose for more than an hour, back and forth on each side for extended minutes, to experience the different states of activate, activated, activating.... from those three sides of the coin: body, breath, and mind. Prashant said he has a hashtag #prashantsteachingisconfusing but he doesn't mind. I almost burst out laughing by myself in the room as it resembled my passing thoughts. I didn't find them confusing per se, but would think a statement overly simple before falling into its depth. Like photography, the depth of perception that alters focus on the subject. As in other subjects, context is everything.

Because of yoga having three dimensions of body, mind and breath some practitioners may emphasize asana as for body; meditation for the mind; pranayama for breath. This may help to understand how one can be dominant in practice, but in reality all three are needed to work together in each discipline.

Weekend Three: Poses were more demanding, with deep backbends, sirsana, sarvangasana & ended with supported forward bend. 

Experiences demonstrated that any asana can be done with a focus on a different aspect; sirsasana can become legasana or abdomasana or shoulderasana or breathasana or mindasana... Where you place mind the rest will follow, so do not try to place everything in dogmatic fashion but focus on one area or aspect and other parts of body often fall into place... don't try to master all or you may become the master of none

To explore: - In poses try to continue lengthening/deepening each exhalation.

Weekend Four: Pranayama. 

Prashant spoke about how poses have different breaths and we observed breath in different positions and would then return to sitting to concentrate on how to bring that breath... for example take  forward bending asana where you can feel the breath in the back and then sit upright and try to replicate.

Breath is a profound instrument. Sample valoma ah ah ah ah ee ee ee ee /ah ee ah ee ee ah ee ah. With this approach there are 335 variances of prana in any position using sounds of vowels and consonants. In his book, Pranayama: A Classical and Traditional Approach Prashant outlines more. This is a very complex subject which much has been written, taking four kriyas and five prana viyus and applying in different combinations and multiple ways.

For now I am content to explore just four modules using the placement of a bolster:  horizontal under buttocks, then waist, then torso and then vertical under spine. Observe the involuntary breathe for awhile before gently voluntary exhale; then voluntaray inhale. Do not force or be aggressive. 

To explore: valoma breath in asana.

Marlene!

August 23, just a short email from YCT arrived to trigger concern and a bit of panic: "Due to medical conditions at this time, per Doctors' orders, Marlene’s active role with YCT is terminated for the foreseeable future. Marlene has suffered an episode. She is in hospital, under observation. She will be out of commission for some time. Recovery will be long." 

It was a disturbing message in part because of the choice of words "terminated" and "episode," legal sounding terms with so much left unsaid. I had just been in her online class August 19, having signed up in July/August for twice weekly sessions. 

I was concerned for my teacher, and also selfishly, wanted our time together to continue. I needed her! For her teachings and for her inspiration.

Marlene has been my primary teacher, and the teacher of my teachers, for more than a decade, and a champion who helped to bring the teachings of BKS Iyengar to Canada. Her commitment to Iyengar Yoga is evident in all the hours she puts into guiding her students and student teachers.

Without Marlene there will be a void.

Over the last month I've been in many yoga classes led by other teachers.  Jocylyn from YCT opened hers with prayers to send Marlene and our loved ones healing and positive energy. Attending online classes with Niren at Yogananta and Stephanie and Jane at Studio Po, I could hear Marlene's voice echo in their instructions and attention.

My teacher has not deserted me, but left a legacy of many different and wonderful teachers in the city.

Thankfully more positive letters from Marlene started to arrive to let us know she was on the mend. Then another, two short weeks later, to let us know she'd been sent home from the hospital much earlier than expected and that her therapists were starting to believe in Iyengar yoga.

People do scoff at prayer and positive energy as being powerful healers, but there is evidence to support it is more than possible. Miracles happen every day.

postscript September 1 - A letter from Marlene

Dear friends, colleagues and students

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts and prayers. This has meant SO much to me. On the morning of Thursday August 20, I experienced a small bleed in the brain, which left my entire right side paralyzed. Fortunately, it did not affect my thought process, my eyes, hearing, etc.

According to my doctors I am making a very good recovery, but it is going to be a long recovery. They are anticipating that I will spend one month in hospital, as thy wish to send me home in the best possible condition.

I am working with wonderful therapists who have brought me a long way in a short time.

My intention is to be diligent and to make as complete a recovery as possible.

Please continue to keep me in your thoughts. Your kind words are an inspiration to me everyday.

Please keep in touch with me. I cannot respond to your letters at this time but every one of them means SO much to me.

Love, Marlene

postscript September 15 - a letter from Marlene

Dear colleagues, friends, and students

I am happy to tell you that I left the hospital on Friday, well ahead of my anticipated time there.

I am making a very steady recovery. The se of my right arm, hand and leg are coming along really well. The therapists are starting to believe in Iyengar Yoga. They, and I, anticipate a full recovery over a not too long period of time.

The lesion in my brain has healed and fortunately, at no time was there any cognitive impairment.

Your emails, cards, stories, thoughts and prayers have been the most incredible help and support to me during this difficult time.

I hope to continue to hear from you and I will reach out to each and every one of you as soon as my right hand is up to managing the computer.

My heart cannot thank you enough for all that you have done for me. I hope to see you all very soon.

Sincerely, 

Marlene

Summer Solstice

A perfect weekend in honour of the Summer Solstice.

Yoga, sailing, my garden, good food, and family. Hot and humid and sunny and cloudless, it felt like the carefree days of summer had finally arrived.

Saturday morning I read through the newspaper. The Globe had an interesting opinion piece about 100 Days of Solitude, with 18 people sharing their lockdown experiences. Not for the first time in these days did I feel gratitude for staying happy, safe, and connected throughout the pandemic.

In honour of International Yoga Day, Marlene was leading a virtual lesson. This was the first time I've been in her class since early March, otherwise I have been taking advantage of several of the practices posted on the Yoga Centre Toronto website. It was comforting to have Marlene guide a practice and hear that plans are well underway to reopen Yoga Centre Toronto.

After a few light chores, I spent several hours reading in the shade on the lower deck when I wasn't distracted by my fine feathered friends at the birdfeeder. Purple Hibiscus is a really eye-opening tale set in present day Nigeria, a totally absorbing work of international fiction. Great characters, a believable plot, and a glimpse of the complexities of life in a developing country.

Dinner with Rob was lemon pasta with pan-fried scallops. Easy and tasty.

Then, down to BPYC for cocktails on Yondering. Bluffer's Park is incredibly busy, and just travelling down the hill takes at least four times longer with all the traffic. Not a lot of social distancing looks to be happening on the beaches.

It was also finally Launch Day! Rob had been crewing the towboat all day and Yondering was nicely floating in her slip. Rob has been working hard to prep the boat for the season, and we now have new cushions onboard. The bulky heater has also been removed, leaving a lot more space on the interior. I can't wait to go for a sail!!

This may be the year I finally learn how to dock properly... our neighbouring slips are empty right now which gives a spacious berth.

It was odd to see so many boats still on the "hard," however there are many skippers in the club that have opted out of sailing entirely this summer.

Home again for a movie in the cool basement. Finally getting around to watching Transparent.

Sunday was the 21st which I think of as the solstice. I know there are good arguments for June 20, so why not just spread the festivities over two days?

A special 2 hour yoga class with Niren, again to celebrate International Yoga Day.

And Father's Day, another reason for celebration.

Dinner at Alex' and Penny's, hanging out in their backyard. Their garden is coming along so nicely and I was happy to see the transplants enjoying the sun. We had time to reminisce about growing up and happy times, as Alex had posted on Facebook: "Thanks for the camping trips to Killarney, being the baseball coach for my pewee league, the trips to the train tracks, a fellow racing fan, the claw chasing us around the block, helping me solve my grade 3 math problems, waking up at 6 for hockey, being an amazing bread maker, and overall an amazing Dad and friend."

A blessed start to summer!

If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.