Second Thoughts About Second Thoughts

It is now about five years since I left a management position, in part because I could actually earn more money. It was a sub-lateral move with less responsibility, more freedom, and less stress. I wasn't the only one to make that decision - several hundred managers across the Ontario Public Service made a similar choice.

The lack of incentive eventually produced a nice money bump for managers. This week I realized had I stayed in that position and 'toughed it out', it would in fact have resulted in earnings of 20% more last year.  I knew this courtesy of the Sunshine list.

AAArrggh!

Coulda woulda shoulda

More money would definitely be nice, but was it really only a money decision? There were definitely other factors at play,  namely an environment I didn't want to go to day in and day out. Who knows what would have happened had I stayed in what I felt at the time was a toxic situation? I wanted and needed a change and was resilient enough to seek a more positive situation.

I'm probably not the only soul living with some measure of regret about career choices. But I really need to stop beating myself up about the decision. I made it because I thought it was a healthier path at the time.

Maybe I am was a Career Romantic, thinking if I only met the right job it would sweep me off my feet and we could live happily every after.

Ironically, my current department has the absolute lowest employee engagement scores in the entire ministry. The survey results are based on the period when I was on secondment, so my responses are not included in the timeframe.

Fast forward with the difference, I now feel I have more influence and impact, and believe I can help shape an environment where I will want to come to work every day.

Since I can't change the past or accurately predict the future, I might as well focus on the present.