Friday, November 28, 2014

Sadhana 5

Sadhana 5.

30 days straight in the yoga studio. On the mat by 6 a.m. with a class until 7:30. I did my first in 2012.

This time around, I almost didn't sign up because it was already tough enough getting out of bed in the morning. Rising one hour earlier wasn't going to make my life any easier. My body felt stiffer than usual, and even simple poses seemed difficult. Nor did I stumble into bliss or feel a sudden connectedness with strangers like I sometimes do after intense practise. I said in an earlier post it was tough slogging, and it was. Many days I just felt stiff and cranky.  A few nights I was tired enough to land in bed by 8:15.

"Without Animosity, With Indifference" became a bit of a mantra for me, as there suddenly seemed to be jerks everywhere. Someone in an early restorative class took over my set up and sent me fuming looking for alternate props, agitating me for the rest of the practise despite the mantra. People everywhere sneezing and coughing without covering their mouths, drivers cutting me off in traffic. Was I a magnet for unpleasant, trivial and petty annoyances? Was I, in fact, someone else's unpleasant, trivial and petty annoyance?

'Stuff' comes up during intensives and it's not always pleasant. Some attribute it to physical memories on a cellular level. We carry things around in our bodies for years and sometimes even decades, and it is easier said than done, to Just Let It Go.

Yes, it was tough slogging. Do I regret signing up for the 30 days?

Not a chance.

After writing this entry I went back and read all (70!) of the entries tagged 'yoga.' Great to keep a record to be able to reference past the years. Although here and there I found some technical inaccuracies, most of the observations still ring true. I guess making the record has inadvertently become part of my practise, a gift to myself.

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