Friday, September 25, 2020

Work in progress

Things have been upside down the past few months (since July!) as we've boxed them up and moved them about to accommodate new floors being installed and painting being done on the main floor. Even the rads were disconnected so the floors could be properly installed. Things are not quite back to normal and work is still in progress, but the end is in sight... at least for the living/dining room.

The dark hardwood gleams and is so nicely polished, it is almost a shame to put rugs over top. The photo above makes the living room look a bit like a bowling alley but shows a view of the work in progress and paint selections underway.

After many trips to many paint stores and stockpiling paint brochures and colour chips, we finally decided on the colours: a mossy green called December Rain for the dining room and Japanese Paper for the living room and trim. Probably would have gone on dithering if the painter hadn't been scheduled to do the work! 

The mossy green back wall and dark wood floors create a beautiful flow into the ravine and extend the living space, while the colour of Japanese Paper is an elegant backdrop for existing furniture and complements the new floor.

The stairs also got a welcome facelift.

Lots of work still to be done in the home office. While the floors are done and one wall is painted, need to get the furniture in its proper place, and the bookshelves restocked. Also very excited about the mural I've picked out for the far wall, but before it's installed we want to get crown moulding up and a good skim coat to prep. 


Tuesday, September 22, 2020

Immersive Van Gogh


Back in July, Rob, Alex, Penny and I went to Immersive Van Gogh by car, and this September we returned by foot. I felt sensations of floating ease to enveloped by such beautiful colour and form.

Before heading to the exhibit we grabbed a takeout dinner from the Danforth and sat in Withrow Park enjoying an impromptu picnic in the early fall breeze.

Social distancing is still in effect, and mask wearing during the exhibit was essential. The splendour of the images made me soon forget the mask. 

I haven't visited an art gallery since last last February and was definitely in need of a fix. Took lots of photos and videos to try to capture the moments, but it's like trying to capture a sunset or mountains or the moon at night. The scale of the images is part of what impresses, and small squares backlit on the phone hardly do it justice.

Both visits I left feeling uplifted, lighter somehow.

The wall mural I ordered for my home office is inspired by Van Gogh's almond blossoms, such gorgeous colour. I caught the blossoms as they blew onto branches, defying space and time.


Monday, September 21, 2020

Heliconian 2020 - 2021

It's a bit of an experiment, moving the lectures online. Definitely not the same thing as gathering in the old church , nibbling on cheese and interacting in person. 

I had been debating whether to renew my subscription for the Heliconian since it would be a virtual year, but opted in for the whole season, in support of a good cause. 

Whether I will read all 18 of the books, I'm not so sure, but it will still be fun to check out how the authors approach the lectures.  

Kicking off the lecture series is one of my favourite books from 2019, and the author has agreed to attend my book club in May '21.

...

September 22- K.D. Miller: Late Breaking

 Inspired by the paintings of Alex Colville, Late Breaking offers a chilling portrait of a small and aging community. The linked stories explore the vulnerability of the elder heart and prove that love and sex and heartbreak are not only the domain of the young. Each character appears in at least two stories, in a greater or lesser role, the most common being a ghost who “haunts” the book throughout. Death is a constant, in both peaceful and violent forms. Together, the stories crystallize into something more than a novel, and confirm its author as one of the country’s best. 

Finalist for the 2019 Governor-General’s Literary Award for Fiction.



September 24- MG Vassanji: A Delhi Obsession

  Two-time Giller Prize winner, M.G. Vassanji, returns with a powerful new novel about grief and second chances, tradition and rebellion, set in vibrant present-day Delhi.            

Munir Khan, a recent widower from Toronto, on a whim decides to visit Delhi, the city of his forbears. Born in Kenya, he has lost all family connections, and has never visited India before. 

While sitting in the bar of the Delhi Recreational Club where he's staying, an attractive woman joins his table to await her husband. A sparring match ensues. The two are from different worlds: Munir is a westernized agnostic of Muslim origin; Mohini, a modern Hindu woman. Utterly witty and charming, she's religiously traditional, but also a liberal and provocative newspaper columnist. Against her better judgment, Mohini agrees to show Munir around the city. What follows is a passionate love affair.

This is a period of rising Indian nationalism in modern India that at times finds outlet in senseless violence. Constantly lurking at Munir's Club is the menacing and foreboding presence of a fanatical nationalist group. To them Munir Khan is simply a Muslim "love-jihadi" who has led the pride of Hindu womanhood, Mohini Singh, astray.

October 6- Steven Price: Lampedusa

In sun-drenched Sicily, among the decadent Italian aristocracy of the late 1950s, Giuseppe Tomasi, the last prince of Lampedusa, struggles to complete the novel that will be his legacy, The Leopard. With a firm devotion to the historical record, Lampedusa leaps effortlessly into the mind of the writer and inhabits the complicated heart of a man facing down the end of his life, struggling to make something of lasting worth, while there is still time. Read The Leopard once you have read Lampedusa. It is considered an Italian masterpiece in its depiction of Sicily in the second half of the 19th century.

Finalist for the 2019 Scotia Giller Prize


October 22- Joan Thomas: Five Wives

 In the tradition of The Poisonwood Bible and State of Wonder, a novel set in the rainforest of Ecuador about five women left behind when their missionary husbands are killed, Five Wives is based on the shocking real-life events

In 1956, a small group of evangelical Christian missionaries and their families journeyed to the rainforest in Ecuador intending to convert the Waorani, a people who had never had contact with the outside world. The plan was known as Operation Auca. After spending days dropping gifts from an aircraft, the five men in the party rashly entered the “intangible zone.” They were all killed, leaving their wives and children to fend for themselves.

 Five Wives is the fictionalized account of the real-life women who were left behind, and their struggles – with grief, with doubt, and with each other – as they continued to pursue their evangelical mission in the face of the explosion of fame that followed their husbands’ deaths.

Winner of the 2019 Governor-General’s Literary Award for Fiction.

November 17- Anthony de Sa: Children of the Moon

 Tanzania, 1956. A Maasai woman gives birth to a child with albinism. The child is seen as a curse upon her tribe, and so begins Pó's tumultuous story. As Pó navigates the world, she must claim her life in the face of violence and ostracism.             

Further south, in Portuguese-controlled Mozambique, Ezequiel struggles for acceptance too. Adopted by missionaries, he is not recognized by his Portuguese father's community, or by his Makonde mother's tribe. When civil war erupts, he must choose who to fight for and who to leave behind.

November 26- Cary Fagan: The Student

 A portrait of a life in two snapshots.

It’s 1957 and Miriam Moscowitz is starting her final year of university with unwavering ambition. She is a passionate student who studies hard, dates a handsome Jewish man with a good job, and is the apple of her father’s eye (and worry of her mother’s). But when a meeting with a professor she admires turns sour, her dreams of a life immersed in literature are extinguished and—perhaps for the first time—she becomes unsure of how to break a path for herself.

It’s 2005 and Miriam is readying her backyard for a wedding. She picks up one of her books from 1957 and reads the marginalia written in her young, minuscule handwriting. She wonders what the young person who had written all these words almost half a century ago has to do with the older woman who is deciphering them now.

The Student is a compassionate and compelling novel that brings together two pivotal times in history. In beautiful prose, it reveals how we are shaped by – and try to overcome – the constraints of our times. 

Finalist for the 2019 Governor-General’s Literary Award for Fiction

January 26- Mike Barnes: Be WithLetters to a Caregiver

  Drawing on the author’s seven years of caring for his mother through Alzheimer’s, Be With: Letters to a Caregiver is what its title promises: four dispatches to an anonymous long-term caregiver. In brief passages that cast fresh light on what it means to live with dementia, Barnes shares trials, insights, solace—and, ultimately, inspiration.

Mike Barnes writes with sensitivity and grace about fellowship, responsibility, and joyful relatedness—what it means to simply be with the people that we love.

Shortlisted for the Toronto Book Award

January 28- Jesse Thistle: From the Ashes: My Story of Being Métis, Homeless and Finding My Way

In this extraordinary and inspiring debut memoir, Jesse Thistle, once a high school dropout and now a rising Indigenous scholar, chronicles his life on the streets and how he overcame trauma and addiction to discover the truth about who he is.

Abandoned by his parents as a toddler, Jesse Thistle briefly found himself in the foster-care system with his two brothers, cut off from all they had known. Eventually the children landed in the home of their paternal grandparents, whose tough-love attitudes quickly resulted in conflicts. Throughout it all, the ghost of Jesse’s drug-addicted father haunted the halls of the house and the memories of every family member. Struggling with all that had happened, Jesse succumbed to a self-destructive cycle of drug and alcohol addiction and petty crime, spending more than a decade on and off the streets, often homeless. Finally, he realized he would die unless he turned his life around.

Through sheer perseverance and education—and newfound love—he found his way back into the circle of his Indigenous culture and family.

An eloquent exploration of the impact of prejudice and racism, From the Ashes is, in the end, about how love and support can help us find happiness despite the odds.

Finalist for CBC Reads and Indigenous Voices Awards   

February 16 -Gil Adamson: The Ridgerunner

Part literary Western and part historical mystery, Ridgerunner is the sequel to Gil Adamson’s award-winning and critically acclaimed novel The Outlander.

November 1917. William Moreland is in mid-flight. After nearly twenty years, the notorious thief, known as the Ridgerunner, has returned. Moving through the Rocky Mountains and across the border to Montana, the solitary drifter, impoverished in means and aged beyond his years, is also a widower and a father. He is determined to steal enough money to secure the future of his son who has been left in the care of Sister Beatrice, a formidable nun, who keeps him in cloistered seclusion in her grand old house. Though he knows his father is coming for him, the boy runs away to the family’s cabin deep in the wood and takes with him something the nun is determined to get back — at any cost.

The novel is set against the backdrop of a distant war raging in Europe and a rapidly changing landscape in the West.

February 25- Derek Mascarenhas: Coconut Dreams

 Coconut Dreams explores the lives of the Pinto family through seventeen linked short stories. Starting with a ghost story set in Goa, India in the 1950s, the collection weaves through various timelines and perspectives to focus on two children, Aiden and Ally Pinto. These siblings tackle their adventures in a predominantly white suburb with innocence, intelligence and a timid foot in two distinct cultures. Derek Mascarenhas takes a fresh look at the world of the new immigrant and the South Asian experience in Canada.

In these stories, a daughter questions her father’s love at an IKEA grand opening; an aunt remembers a safari-gone-wrong in Kenya; an uncle’s unrequited love is confronted at a Goan Association picnic; a boy tests his faith amidst a school-yard brawl; and a childhood love letter is exchanged during the building of a backyard deck. Singularly and collectively, these stories will move the reader with their engaging narratives and authentic voices

March 4- Carla Gunn: Amphibian

 Nine-year-old Phineas William Walsh has an encyclopedic knowledge of the natural world. He knows that if you wet a dog's food with your saliva and he refuses to eat it then he's top dog, and he knows that dolphins can sleep half a brain at a time. What he doesn't know, though, is why his grandfather died, or why waste-of-flesh Lyle always picks on him. Or why his parents can't live together - after all, when other mate-for-life animals have a fight, it's not like one of them just packs his bags and leaves the country. To make it infinitely worse, he's worried sick about what humans are doing to the planet, and his mother is worried sick about him. But shouldn't everyone be losing sleep over the fact that a quarter of all Earth's mammals are on the Red List of Threatened Species? So, when a White's tree frog ends up in an aquarium in his fourth-grade classroom, it's the last straw, and he and his best friend, Bird, are spurred to action.

Finalist for the Commonwealth Writers’ Prize for Best First Book, (Canada and the Caribbean Region)

March 23- Karma Brown: Recipe For a Perfect Wife

In this captivating dual narrative novel, a modern-day woman finds inspiration in hidden notes left by her home’s previous owner, a quintessential 1950s housewife. As she discovers remarkable parallels between this woman’s life and her own, it causes her to question the foundation of her own relationship with her husband–and what it means to be a wife fighting for her place in a patriarchal society.

When Alice Hale leaves a career in publicity to become a writer and follows her husband to the New York suburbs, she is unaccustomed to filling her days alone in a big, empty house. But when she finds a vintage cookbook buried in a box in the old home’s basement, she is captivated by the cookbook’s previous owner–1950s housewife Nellie Murdoch. As Alice cooks her way through the past, she realizes that within the cookbook’s pages Nellie left clues about her life–including a mysterious series of unsent letters penned to her mother. Soon Alice learns that while baked Alaska and meatloaf five ways may seem harmless, Nellie’s secrets may have been anything but.

April 13- Ben Lerner: The Topeka School with Sandra Martin

 Adam Gordon is a senior at Topeka High School, class of 1997. His mother, Jane, is a famous feminist author; his father, Jonathan, is an expert at getting "lost boys" to open up. They both work at the Foundation, a well-known psychiatric clinic that has attracted staff and patients from around the world. Adam is also one of the seniors who brings the loner Darren Eberheart--who is, unbeknownst to Adam, his father's patient--into the social scene, with disastrous effects.

This is the story of a family's struggles and strengths: Jane's reckoning with the legacy of an abusive father, Jonathan's marital transgressions, the challenge of raising a good son in a culture of toxic masculinity. It is also a riveting prehistory of the present: the collapse of public speech, the trolls and tyrants of the new right, and the ongoing crisis of identity among white men.

A Finalist for the 2020 Pulitzer Prize for Fiction and a Barack Obama’s Top Pick.

April 15- Emma Donoghue: Akin

A personal note: Akin is my only book to grow out of a particular place: it’s inspired by the two years (2011-12 and 2015-16) I spent with my French partner and our children in Nice. Despite having a degree in French and English, over the decades I’ve consistently failed to become fluent in French, so this novel is a sort of apologetic love-letter to the country that intrigues me so deeply, where I will always be a stranger. I chose New York as the place where Noah’s family would end up not only because it was an obvious choice for people involved in the art world, but because my father the literary critic Denis Donoghue taught at NYU from the late seventies to the early 2010s, and the one year I spent in that city at the age of nine was eye-opening in every way.

The story of Noah’s mother was prompted by the wartime experiences of Marguerite Matisse Duthuit, daughter to the painter who lived in Nice for so long, which I learned about in Hilary Spurling’s extraordinary biography Matisse: The Life. But I decided to make Noah’s grandfather a photographer instead, because that could be called the key twentieth-century art form, and because photographs (pre-digital) have such uncanny power as evidence. My image-maker friend Margaret Lonergan created some of Margot’s photos for me to include in the book, as well as designing the cover from a 1930s shot of the Promenade des Anglais by Swiss photographer Martin Hürlimann.

May 11- Jessica McDiarmidHighway of Tears

For decades, Indigenous women and girls have gone missing or been found murdered along an isolated stretch of highway in northwestern British Columbia. Highway 16 is known as the Highway of Tears, and it has come to symbolize a national crisis.

Journalist Jessica McDiarmid, investigates the devastating effect these tragedies have had on the families of the victims and their communities, and how systemic racism and indifference have created a climate where Indigenous women and girls are over-policed, yet under-protected.      

 Through interviews with mothers and fathers, siblings and friends, McDiarmid offers an intimate, first-hand account of their loss and relentless fight for justice. Examining the historically fraught social and cultural tensions between settlers and Indigenous peoples in the region, McDiarmid links these cases to others across Canada - now estimated to number up to 4,000. 

Finalist for the 2020 RBC Taylor Prize for Non-Fiction

May 13- Linden MacIntyre: The Wake

On November 18, 1929, a tsunami struck Newfoundland’s Burin Peninsula. Giant waves up to three storeys high hit the coast at a hundred kilometres per hour, flooding dozens of communities and washing entire houses out to sea. The most destructive earthquake-related event in Newfoundland’s history, the disaster killed twenty-eight people and left hundreds more homeless or destitute. It took days for the outside world to find out about the death and damage caused by the tsunami, which forever changed the lives of the inhabitants of the fishing outports along the Burin Peninsula.

Scotiabank Giller Prize–winning writer Linden MacIntyre was born near St. Lawrence, Newfoundland, one of the villages virtually destroyed by the tsunami. By the time of his birth, the cod-fishing industry lay in ruins and the village had become a mining town. MacIntyre’s father, lured from Cape Breton to Newfoundland by a steady salary, worked in St. Lawrence in an underground mine that was later found to be radioactive. Hundreds of miners would die; hundreds more would struggle through shortened lives profoundly compromised by lung diseases ranging from silicosis and bronchitis to cancer. As MacIntyre says, though the tsunami killed twenty-eight people in 1929, it would claim hundreds if not thousands more in the decades to follow. And by the time the village returned to its roots and set up as a cod fishery once again, the stocks in the Grand Banks had plummeted and St. Lawrence found itself once again on the brink of disaster.

CBC and Globe and Mail Best Book of the Year

June 8- Helen Humphreys: Rabbit Foot Bill

 Canwood, Saskatchewan, 1947. Leonard Flint, a lonely boy in a small farming town befriends the local tramp, a man known as Rabbit Foot Bill. Bill doesn’t talk much, but he allows Leonard to accompany him as he sets rabbit snares and to visit his small, secluded dwelling. 

Being with Bill is everything to young Leonard—an escape from school, bullies and a hard father. So his shock is absolute when he witnesses Bill commit a sudden violent act and loses him to prison.

 Fifteen years on, as a newly graduated doctor of psychiatry, Leonard arrives at the Weyburn Mental Hospital, both excited and intimidated by the massive institution known for its experimental LSD trials. To Leonard’s great surprise, at the Weyburn he is reunited with Bill and soon becomes fixated on discovering what happened on that fateful day in 1947.

Based on a true story, this page-turning novel from a master stylist examines the frailty and resilience of the human mind.

June 10- Olga Tokarczuk: Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead with Suanne Kelman.

In a remote Polish village, Janina devotes the dark winter days to studying astrology, translating the poetry of William Blake, and taking care of the summer homes of wealthy Warsaw residents. Her reputation as a crank and a recluse is amplified by her not-so-secret preference for the company of animals over humans. 

Then a neighbour, Big Foot, turns up dead. Soon other bodies are discovered, in increasingly strange circumstances. As suspicions mount, Janina inserts herself into the investigation, certain that she knows whodunit. If only anyone would pay her mind... 

A deeply satisfying thriller cum fairy tale, Drive Your Plow over the Bones of the Dead is a provocative exploration of the murky borderland between sanity and madness, justice and tradition, autonomy and fate. Whom do we deem sane? Who is worthy of a voice? 

Finalist for the International Booker Prize and the National Book Award for Translation

 

Wednesday, September 16, 2020

Marlene!

August 23, just a short email from YCT arrived to trigger concern and a bit of panic: "Due to medical conditions at this time, per Doctors' orders, Marlene’s active role with YCT is terminated for the foreseeable future. Marlene has suffered an episode. She is in hospital, under observation. She will be out of commission for some time. Recovery will be long." 

It was a disturbing message in part because of the choice of words "terminated" and "episode," legal sounding terms with so much left unsaid. I had just been in her online class August 19, having signed up in July/August for twice weekly sessions. 

I was concerned for my teacher, and also selfishly, wanted our time together to continue. I needed her! For her teachings and for her inspiration.

Marlene has been my primary teacher, and the teacher of my teachers, for more than a decade, and a champion who helped to bring the teachings of BKS Iyengar to Canada. Her commitment to Iyengar Yoga is evident in all the hours she puts into guiding her students and student teachers.

Without Marlene there will be a void.

Over the last month I've been in many yoga classes led by other teachers.  Jocylyn from YCT opened hers with prayers to send Marlene and our loved ones healing and positive energy. Attending online classes with Niren at Yogananta and Stephanie and Jane at Studio Po, I could hear Marlene's voice echo in their instructions and attention.

My teacher has not deserted me, but left a legacy of many different and wonderful teachers in the city.

Thankfully more positive letters from Marlene started to arrive to let us know she was on the mend. Then another, two short weeks later, to let us know she'd been sent home from the hospital much earlier than expected and that her therapists were starting to believe in Iyengar yoga.

People do scoff at prayer and positive energy as being powerful healers, but there is evidence to support it is more than possible. Miracles happen every day.


postscript September 1 - A letter from Marlene

Dear friends, colleagues and students
Thank you so much for your kind thoughts and prayers. This has meant SO much to me. On the morning of Thursday August 20, I experienced a small bleed in the brain, which left my entire right side paralyzed. Fortunately, it did not affect my thought process, my eyes, hearing, etc.
According to my doctors I am making a very good recovery, but it is going to be a long recovery. They are anticipating that I will spend one month in hospital, as thy wish to send me home in the best possible condition.
I am working with wonderful therapists who have brought me a long way in a short time.
My intention is to be diligent and to make as complete a recovery as possible.
Please continue to keep me in your thoughts. Your kind words are an inspiration to me everyday.
Please keep in touch with me. I cannot respond to your letters at this time but every one of them means SO much to me.
Love, Marlene

postscript September 15 - a letter from Marlene

Dear colleagues, friends, and students
I am happy to tell you that I left the hospital on Friday, well ahead of my anticipated time there.
I am making a very steady recovery. The se of my right arm, hand and leg are coming along really well. The therapists are starting to believe in Iyengar Yoga. They, and I, anticipate a full recovery over a not too long period of time.
The lesion in my brain has healed and fortunately, at no time was there any cognitive impairment.
Your emails, cards, stories, thoughts and prayers have been the most incredible help and support to me during this difficult time.
I hope to continue to hear from you and I will reach out to each and every one of you as soon as my right hand is up to managing the computer.
My heart cannot thank you enough for all that you have done for me. I hope to see you all very soon.
Sincerely, 
Marlene

Friday, September 11, 2020

Garden Spirits


In addition to my laughing Buddha and contemplative Ganesh, I've planted lots of little oddities to happen upon in the garden. 

Welcoming frogs, bunnies shrinking in violets, crows perched on benches and gnomes guarding corners. Smiles and curiosities. 



Every once in awhile they will catch my eye again. I didn't realize how many there were until I went about taking some photos.  Hopefully they are understated and I haven't unwittingly turned my backyard into a junkyard!  Small embellishments here and there and here again. 




 

Thursday, September 10, 2020

Harvest Bounty

Fresh! The seasonal bounty of fresh herbs, tomato, zucchini, garlic, peaches, concord grapes, corn and cod and clams. Chit chat of books, summer adventures, present times and future plans. And food, of course!

The Epi feast started outside in Kaarina's Bamba Shack, as we sipped on gin cocktails embellished with fresh basil. The chill of the late September afternoon brought us all indoors before the first course, which was a delicious Cordoban cold tomato and bread soup. Although lovely Laura wasn't able to join us, Kaarina used some of the garlic from Laura's Wolfe Island garden, so she was there in spirit. 

Then on to colourful and flavourful raw veg. This time I was in charge of the salad course and consulted Ottolenghi's Simple for the recipes: tomatoes with sumac shallots and zucchini with thyme and walnut. I was able to use fists full of fresh basil and thyme from plants out my back door when I prepped earlier in the day at home. Making these salads was a very visual and tactile experience for me: peeling long curls from the zucchini; massaging fragrant oil into the white flesh; gently lifting the multi-coloured tomatoes to hide bits of fresh green basil. 

Just after the salad course I watched Caroline prepare fresh clams as I'd never had them before. Not as intimidating to cook as I thought, and a real show with all the sizzle and steam. But then, Caro does make it seem easy. A generous amount of shallots in the bottom of a hot pan, fresh white wine added to evaporate for one minute, then add the clams and steam for another 5 minutes. Delicious brine drizzled on top and served alongside fresh corn and cod browned on the skillet.

Kaarina disappeared into the kitchen with fresh peaches and berries to whip up sabayon, and while she was working her magic Mike and Rob joined us at the table, just in time to enjoy dessert.

After, a selection of cheeses, concord grapes and crackers, a splash of Scotch.

Feasting on each other's company.

Menu

Salmorejo, a cold Spanish tomato and bread soup from Cordoba, paired with sherry (Kaarina)

Two salads: Zucchini and Walnut + Tomato and Sumac Shallots with pine nuts, paired with Seedlip Garden shots (Diane)

Corn, Cod and Clams paired with Bordeaux Chardonnay (Caroline)

Sabayon of peach and raspberry (Kaarina)

Selection of cheeses, concord grapes, biscuits (Diane)




Monday, September 7, 2020

Happy birthday!

I love this time of year. Late summers have always echoed as new beginnings, with best wishes on my birthday for the year ahead.

This year was a quiet celebration. The morning started with a nice long soak in the bath, coffee in the garden, and a restorative yoga session. 

Rob made Eggs Benedict and then we took a short drive to the Beach to watch the waves breaking on shore, followed by a meander in the Rosetta garden. 

Rob prepared a special meal of oysters on the half shell, scallops, asparagus wrapped prosciutto and potato fingerlings. Alex and Penny brought little delectable cakes.

Alex stirred memories with questions of my favourite birthdays.... 40th at the Pinery; 50th at BPYC; this one! Birthday Present.

I remember telling my grandmother in my early twenties I didn't think I would live a long life; I couldn't see myself in the future. She would have been in her late sixties, I think, and confessed she had never seen herself growing as old as she was at that moment. Happily she would go on living at least another decade. And here I am now, in the youth of old age.

This past year brought its work challenges and Covid stress but also a reinforcement of the fortune of family and friends. 

The bliss of unexpected pleasures and connections. 

The comforts of home.

Rob's gift to me this year is a Barbados Cherry bonsai. Such a beauty! It can live outside until winter but I am enjoying it inside for now and hoping for cherries. Alex and Penny chose 4 different saki for a tasting in the near future.

My birthday wishes for the year ahead are for continued health and happiness; planning my days to spend more time with the people I love doing the things I enjoy. Lofty ambition.

Friday, September 4, 2020

Weighing retirement options


I'm obsessed. With dates and retirement math. 

The potential dates for my retirement are approaching landmarks, and I dither about timing my exit for the best pension outcome. I vacillate between Factor 80 or Factor 90, which would be reached just 11 months later. I reason I can tough it out for an extra year for a bigger pension, and then desperately hope I can stand working even a few more months without quitting prematurely or being unexpectedly laid off before I hit the qualifying dates.

My latest puzzling is adding the government Transition Exit Initiative or Voluntary Exit offer program into the mix, and then calendarizing the work-back dates for Factor 80 or Factor 90. (Date X - 6 months - 19 weeks - accrued holidays would make for the last day in office Date Y). Wondering... will the government keep the incentive programs or axe them? Will my manager approve if I apply? With TEI or VEO taken into account, even Factor 90 might be a possibility before the end of 2021! But do I want to retire when there continue to be all these Covid restrictions on travel and activities?

Then come the dates on when to take Old Age Security or Canada Pension or start cashing out RSPs or TFSAs. Wondering..... How much should I let the OAS clawback dictate when to start CPP? If I live cheaply abroad for a few months each year will that save money overall?

I play out different scenarios financially but it is all quite confusing. Retire on Factor 80 but start taking CPP? Stick it out a few more months for Factor 90 for extra pension dollars, but start CPP while still working to stash into RSPs for later? Of course I want to maximize for the best financial return, but the additional dollars, while nice, really aren't going to push me into another tax bracket.

Previously I've asked to run the numbers with my financial planner re Factor 80 or Factor 90, and her take was simply, if you're not loving your job a couple extra thousand isn't going to make much difference. Whereas I think, hey, that is renting a cottage for a week or two, or taking a trip to Chicago. So while I may not be loving my job most days I don't really hate it either. Being able to work from home has also made most days infinitely more tolerable.

I think my obsessing with these numbers is a way to try to make retirement more tangible and predictable.

There are big unknowns. Some things are in my control, and others not. Dates of death, levels of wellness and health are huge factors for life in retirement years, regardless of pension schemes. 

You can make all the plans you want but there are no guarantees.

Wednesday, September 2, 2020

Full Corn Moon

Our foursome (Rob and I, Karen and Bert) had the clubhouse deck to ourselves, sipping on cocktails and enjoying a peach cobbler Karen had made with the fruit in season. It was one of those late summer evenings where the sunset is pink and clouds rimmed in copper gold light. The lighthouse was blinking on the point and suddenly it was dark and time to go home.

I went to return a few things on board Yondering, making my way through inky dark shadows. The boats on their cradles in the yard seeming like whales looming above. 

The full moon was hidden behind the clouds, bringing a whisper to the evening air as soft light glanced and shimmered on the surface of the lake. Cool night air.

I love these late days of summer

The moon was full September 2 at 1:22 a.m.