Sadhana IV

Thursday was a backbend class, and usually I feel lighthearted afterward.  I did this time as well, but it was very short-lived.  By 10 a.m. I felt very heavy-hearted and it lasted the rest of the day.  My arms and legs felt like they weighed a tonne.

Friday was a restorative class and much needed.  The rest of the day and evening I felt great equanimity.  Even after getting yelled at, at work, and then suffering a particularly bad commute on the way home.

Saturday, the practice was very intense.  Strong inversions (headstand 2, handstand, arm balance).  By the time we got to shoulderstand I was exhausted. So tired, in fact, that on the drive home I was almost falling asleep at red lights.  At 8 a.m., I crawled back into bed for a 'nap' that lasted 2 hours.

Today was pranayama.  I feel rejuvenated, centred, aware.  Why can't I feel like this always?  Why is this sense of well-being not at my beck and call?  Is there a way to make it so?

For now, I will savour it as it comes.