I have been thinking about her every day.
At her Celebration of Life, I kept searching the family faces, really expecting that she was there somehow, somewhere.
These past few years we would call each other and spend hours on the phone talking. I would get to Kitchener and we'd go out for lunch. One trip she treated me to a mani-pedi. I so wish we had more time ahead to spend together.
It was the very end of August and I realized we still hadn't celebrated her birthday together. When I'd called to wish her Happy Birthday she'd been coughing, and on our latest call her voice was so faint I had a hard time hearing her on the phone. I had such a strong urge to see her, so Rob and I drove to Kitchener to take her out for lunch. Much gratitude I listened to that urge. When she opened the door, we could see she wasn't well. She didn't want to talk about it, but we learned it was cancer. 7 different kinds, all at once.
I was next to her when she passed 6 weeks later, again a strong urge not to leave her side. It was Thanksgiving weekend but I decided to stay with her in Kitchener rather than head elsewhere... there was no point in going anywhere as she would be all I could think about anyway. So I stayed, and I am truly thankful I was there.
<Spouse of the late Daniel George Emery (2008). Loving Mother of Dan, John, Eric and Chris. Cherished grandmother of Nicholas, Destiny, Skylar, Serenity, Terry, Mercedes, John Jr., William, Autumn and Araya.
Great-grandmother of Daniel, Marilyn and Lincoln. Sister of Diane, David, Michael, Alex and Patrick. Will be greatly missed by many nieces, nephews and cousins.
Predeceased by her parents, James and Marion Bickers, son, Steven Emery (1987) and granddaughter, Brooklyn (2015)Kathy Adrianna Emery (nee Bickers) was an amazing wife, mother, sibling, daughter and friend. She led a full life. She was recognized as an unsung hero for her volunteer efforts in the community and worked as a chef and later, a tattoo artist. We all admired her strength and courage as she faced life's challenges. Kathy passed away peacefully at home, surrounded by family.
We will miss her every day.>
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I shared the following at her Celebration of life on November 1st:
When life got tough, so did Kathy. She found out this past August that she had seven different types of cancer, and started making preparations. Finalizing her will, choosing the cemetery, thinking about how she wanted her graveside service.
I’m certain Kathy would have been pleased we chose the Day of the Dead to hold her service and Celebration of Life. Kathy was a very spiritual person, not a religious one. She didn’t want a Christian burial, and wanted something unique. And, if we could’ve pulled it off, there would have been sword swallowers, fire breathers, and a white horse to escort the companion urn to the Columbarium. A trained raven would have dropped a stone onto the urn in the niche, and then flown into the trees above to watch over us all.
As I’m sure Kathy is watching us now.
Kathy was such a very determined and courageous person.
She chose to die at home. This wasn’t some romantic notion, she knew exactly how hard things could get, because she helped her husband Dan die at home in 2008. When our mother was diagnosed with cancer in 2018, she stayed by her side and looked after her, too.
This time it was her sons’ turns to look after Kathy. Daniel, Eric and Chris you did your mother proud. In her last days she said how much you had really come through when she needed you.
I don’t want to just talk about how Kathy chose to meet death, but how she chose to live.
As a little girl, she & I looked after our younger brothers. This is back in the days of cloth diapers, when our mom would cut the corners off the plastic milk bags to make waterproof covers. Kathy also loved animals, and is often the one seen holding the cat or patting the dog in family photos. She was a true nurturer.
When she was a teeenager, she fell madly in love with Dan. And stayed in love with him the rest of her life.
In the early days, Dan would come around on his motorcycle and Kathy would hop on the back of the bike and they would ride off on their adventures.
She loved each of her five children so much. Daniel and John came along when she was still in her teens. When Stephen was stillborn, she was devastated. Chris and Eric were born when she was in her twenties, almost fraternal twins to their older brothers. Later, when Chris and Eric were in grade school, she volunteered in their classrooms.
Kathy earned a living working as a chef, but preferred to cook for family celebrations like Thanksgiving and Christmas.
She loved being outside in nature, whether in her garden, on the beach, or for a walk in the forest.
Did you know Kathy was awarded an Unsung Hero award? She became a community activist in a program designed to reduce neighbourhood crime, and was recognized for it at an Awards dinner.
Kathy recently shared some of her happy memories with me. The times she spent tattooing at community fairs with Dan, and later her sons. The people she'd met there. The times spent with her family in Goderich and later, Port Burwell. And Kathy spoke of her adventures with Randy, too, travelling to the Smoky Mountains and attending an underground wedding in Hamilton at a Masonic temple.
I wish she could have continued her adventures in good health. Unfortunately MS made her less active than she would have liked. She was grateful for the Ocrevus infusions she received twice a year because they gave her such renewed energy. So she would time the treatments before holidays, planning her family feasts and celebrations when she would have the strength to enjoy them fully.
As the Memorial card says, Grieve not for me. Remember the best times, the laughter, the song, the good life I lived while I was strong.
Kathy Adrianna, you live in our hearts.
