Ready. Set. Go?

I'm considering delaying my retirement even further due to Covid, torturing myself with should I stay or should I go. It reminds me of sailing, with storms on the horizon, staying in port until more favourable weather comes.

How bad is the storm, how much longer will it last? Should I just reset my sails?

Maybe change the destination.

I am very thankful my employer  and colleagues are understanding and tolerating my indecision.

I wake in the morning and my first thoughts are to go, but then my rational mind starts working to keep me on the job. Security in uncertain times.

I had a certain scenario in mind... retire, head out to Costa Rica for 6 weeks, come back and settle in to a new beginning. 

Life is what happens when you are making other plans.

Reality now is risky travel, Covid variants, restricted gatherings, cancelled concerts.

But it has also been comfy times at home, yoga, virtual gatherings.

Retirement will mean more time to do the things I love. Popping in on friends who are also not working, shopping during off hours, long walks in the afternoon to no place in particular. 

Kurt Vonnegut — 'Enjoy the little things in life because one day you`ll look back and realize they were the big things.'

Costa Rica

Part of my retirement plan was to head off to Costa Rica in January for 4-6 weeks. We bought the tickets in November but I ended up cancelling this week. Plenty of people are still heading south but it just didn't seem the best decision right now, given the new Omicron variant.

Never got around to booking the accommodations.

It would be good to do a tour with a group for 7-10 days to travel the rainforest, cloud forest, beaches, volcano, thermal springs and towns. Then settle in somewhere for a couple of weeks to soak up the sun and surf at a more leisurely pace. Pura Vida.

Next year.

Winter Solstice 2021

Earlier in the month I sent a note out to some of my kindred spirits that I wouldn't be holding a solstice celebration this year. I missed the camaraderie, poetry and spirits of years past.

To observe the longest night this year, Rob and I took a drive up to Old Skugog Road in Bowmanville to look at Christmas Lights. There seemed to be hundreds of cars with the same destination, enjoying the phenomenal displays.

Later we took a trip down to the BPYC clubhouse to watch the waves and gaze at the waning moon in the sky overhead.

More light will fill the days ahead.

illustration by Lizzie Spikes

Full Cold Moon - December 2021

It was a clear night with a beautiful view of the full, rising moon.

Just the day before, several announcements to bring a chill to the air about COVID. The new variant is starting to spread here in Ontario and as a result, restrictions are once again being tightened. My return to work date has shifted to March 31. Scarborough Uke Jam cancelled in-person sessions at the Stone Cottage. Dinner with friends was cancelled on Saturday night, and we Sunday we sent our regrets for a birthday party. The BPYC Board decided not to open the Sunday afternoon bar in the clubhouse.  And so it goes.

No lockdown yet but a very strong feeling of deja vu.

On cue for the holiday season. 

The last full moon of 2021 reached peak illumination on Saturday, Dec. 18, at 11:32 p.m. ET

Master Gardener in Training

I was accepted into the Toronto Master Gardener program, so now am a Master Gardener in training!

I am thrilled to play a part in inspiring home gardeners all across our wonderful city. 

Tending even a small patch of green can do wonders for the environment, for neighbourhoods, and for the gardeners themselves.

As an avid home gardener since 1990, I’ve developed a keen appreciation for native plants, while cultivating a haven for birds and pollinators in my front and back garden.

Being a longstanding member of the Toronto Botanical Gardens, I’m a frequent visitor and enjoy attending presentations, listening to speakers, and learning about horticulture.

I’ve been writing and blogging about my garden (and other topics) since 2008, including some of the gardens I’ve visited on my travels.

When I retire I will have the time and energy to devote to the cause.

I'll also need to upgrade my knowledge of horticulture. I chose the University of Guelph courses and have already signed up for the first of three required online courses: Soils and Plant Growth.

Father Joe

Father Joe is a Catholic priest and Iyengar teacher who founded the Kripa Foundation in India. 

The foundation works with those suffering from addiction, including sex workers and AIDs patients, to introduce them to the healing powers of yoga and encourage practice. Father Joe was mentored both by BKS Iyengar and Mother Theresa on this spiritual journy.

I'd heard of Father Joe, and learned a bit about his mission in a documentary about Iyengar. One night I saw something in my Insta feed that there would be a three day workshop starting the following day and signed up right away. 

Each session was two hours. Poses were held anywhere from 1-5 minutes and were all supported. The sequences demanded concentration and physical effort, while the support helped to sustain the poses. I felt myself drawn inward as I explored effortless effort. Often the sequence would be designed to help you go deeper,  for example with uttanasana and dandasana. 

One phrase that stuck with me - Don't "work out" - work in.

Have already incorporated some of these into my morning routine.

Foxgloves

First photo of foxgloves below was taken on November 21.

The second was taken November 28.

Definitely a blooming record for my garden!

Such an exotic looking flower, especially at this time of year.

 

Full Blood Moon Eclipse

The moon was full November 19th (3:59 am), and between 2am and 4am I could have gotten a good look at the Blood Moon eclipse in progress. Not sure if it was too cloudy, because I stayed in my bed while debating if I would get up to see the phenomena first hand or enjoy photographic evidence. I chose the latter. Google image search for Blood Moon eclipse reveals the stunning images taken by lunar photographers.

The Native Americans called the November full moon the beaver moon because the rodents are active in preparation for winter at this time of year, according to NASA. Once eclipsed, the beaver moon morphed into a “blood moon” because of its reddish or rusty tone.

I had attended a yoga class Linda D was giving for charity, and she did a mini moon salutation. It's been awhile since I attempted one but really enjoyed it. There are a variety of different Chandra Namaskar sequences posted online. Maybe I will find one I can make a more frequent night time practice. 

Focused attention

Some notes on wellness

Yoga with Uday Bhosale

Two classes with a new-to-me teacher this weekend really brought home that yoga doesn't need to be rigorous or focused on advanced poses to be effective.

Focused attention can be brought to the simplest of movements. Sitting in virasana in slight variations; observing the rotation in your ankles, feeling and shifting focus of where the weight is placed on the heel in tadasana.

 On Uday's site, a quote from B.K.S.

“Action is movement with intelligence. The world is filled with movement. What the world needs is more conscious movement, more action.”

Notes on pranayama

Continuing pranayama with Marlene through October and November.

One day, such a sense of sadness arising. I didn't stop my practise but said "hello", as in a 'Beautiful Monster' meditation. Not trying to dismiss, conquer or change the feeling; just accepting it. Acknowledging physical sensations of swelling in the chest, tightness in the throat, pain in the right shoulder. Just observing and not trying to fix anything, but also feeling it fade. Keeping eyes open but unfocused rather than keeping them shut.

Breath

Feelings of overwhelm and fatigue... keeping eyes open and focused about 3-4 feet ahead, focusing on the in-breath. Twenty breaths.

Upward Spiral

Everything is interconnected. Gratitude improves sleep. Sleep reduces pain. Reduced pain improves your mood. Improved mood reduces anxiety, which improves focus and planning. Focus and planning help with decision making. Decision making further reduces anxiety and improves enjoyment. Enjoyment gives you more to be grateful for, which keeps that look of the upward spiral going. Enjoyment also makes it more likely you'll exercise and be social, which in turn will make you happier... 

Circuits in your brain are an interconnected... with a couple of tiny changes you can reverse the trend... Don't feel like hanging out with people? Go for a run. Don't feel like doing work? Go outside. Can't sleep? Think of what you are grateful for. Worrying too much? Stretch. The Upward Spiral, Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time

 

Happy Diwali!

As the daylight hours are getting shorter, being able to celebrate Diwali - the festival of lights - is comforting. This is the first year we've celebrated at Alex and Penny's house, and a pleasure to partake as they make a fusion of their own rituals and traditions for their lives together.

It was the first time I got to try my hand at rangoli.

Rangoli is an art form originating in the Indian subcontinent, in which patterns are created on the floor or a tabletop using materials such as powdered lime stone, red ochre, dry rice flour, coloured sand, quartz powder, flower petals, and coloured rocks Wikipedia

It was very tactile, setting the  powders in place and tracing the edges with my fingers. 

Sweets! candles! fireworks!

Amita brought some tasty dishes, and I prepared a few of my own (mattar paneer, pani-puri). The table was set with linens and sliverwear from my mom; but we also enjoyed eating with our fingers in the Indian fashion.

Pani-puri

Falling Leaves Moon - October 2021

Gorgeous, gorgeous moon in the sky these last few nights. The sky has been clear and the moon looks huge as it rises.

I've seen a few white tailed deer and hope they are avoiding predators - which is why I am calling this  'Falling Leaves' moon instead of 'Hunters.'

Rob and I went up to the French River a couple of weeks ago to visit Art and Chris when the fall colours were at their peak. It was warm enough to hike with only a light jacket. Two nights in a row we saw three deer make an appearance at the end of the driveway. It was good to know they were nearby, eating the fallen acorns that were so plentiful this year. I thought since the camp was far from the city this happened all the time, but it is not so common. The third night I stood still at the end of the driveway waiting, but didn't see them. 

Later that night, Alex sent video of a deer that visited our street - right across from our house in the city. 

Deer must be plentiful this season. Up north they were feeding on the bounty of mushrooms and fallen acorns. Maybe the trees got together and decided to feed them? I hope it isn't a sign of a tough winter ahead.

Come Spring

 Planted tulips and allium, looking ahead to spring and hoping the squirrels leave them be:

• Eight Je-Taime tulip planted between the sage and red barberry in the front (late spring)
• One Beau Regard allium is situated in the back of the bed, just right of the peony. Hope it gets enough sun! It is the allium with a bloom as large as your head.(early summer)
• Five Graceful Beautiful allium planted in the back by the garden entrance (early summer)
• Five Graceful Beautiful allium planted next to the purple monkshood (early summer)
• Ten Grand Perfection tulips in the pollinator garden (mid spring) These are supposed to start off red with yellow streaks, and the yellow changes to white.
• Ten Hakuun  tulips in the pollinator garden (mid spring) These are supposed to bloom at the same time as the grand perfection, and they are planted close to complement each other

Beau Regard

Graceful Beauty

Grand Perfection

Hakun

Late Bloomers

The front garden continued its show from September into October.

The hydrangea is so gorgeous with the autumn sedum and wooly thyme at its feet. 

I planted salvia in late June and it continues to astound me. Showy purple plumes invite the bees and pollinators for miles around. This is supposed to be perennial, here's hoping, as last year's varietal didn't come back as promised.

Daphne also kept its bloom through summer into fall, although it had more perfume early in the season. So glad I transplanted this to enjoy more light. An added bonus is that I get to see it when I walk out the front door.

Purple coneflowers and astors in the front blossomed and then died back very quickly, while the rudbeckia spread recklessly. 

Calla lilies definitely did not get enough sun where I planted them, but the dahlias prospered. The white dahlias' visual appeal isn't long lasting because when they brown they look half dead. Next year, orange! Porticulata is also on the nursery shopping list; the annual flowers all year with a minimum of fuss.

The pollinator garden got end of season attention when I dug up a fair bit of sea holly and moved the lambs ear. The sea holly was falling onto the sidewalk and taking over. Digging it up was a bit of a chore, the roots are tenacious. We'll have to see if the lambs ears can stand up to their new neighbours. I may be weeding more in that corner next year.

The anemone only started to open its petals the second week of October. We planted in spring but it didn't even bud until September. Probably too busy establishing its roots.  Before our front garden was torn up for city work there were plenty of purple anemones there, and when I looked to replace them this year it was hard to find a nursery with any in stock.  

A trio of white is blooming at the entrance of the back garden: impatiens, phlox, and mandevilla. Earlier in the season, a rabbit or groundhog chewed the phlox to half its size, so it is good to see it is resilient.

Early summer I transplanted mandevilla into the ground when I brought it home, and then it spent two months on its roots without flowering - next year I will look for another white one, but keep it in a pot so I can enjoy the flowers longer. 

Also in bloom: nasturtium, monks hood, snakeroot, autumn cyclamen, and foxglove that was planted in mid-August for Alex' wedding. Backyard colours are still predominantly green, with white and hues of red, pink and purple. Fall colours will be changing that palette soon enough.

Must order more cyclamen for next year! They look so exotic poking up through the leaves of violet.

Are You Understanding?

Three days of online classes with Zubin, with the emphasis on playing and exploring using different asana.

"Are you understanding?" a frequent question.

"You are not just the shadow, or external view of asana. What is happening on the inside, what is happening with the breath? Are you understanding?"

"Think of the different dimensions within yourself - past, present, future - all being expressed in the asana. Are you understanding?"

"Body, breath, mind do not need to be separate areas of study. Try to incorporate each of these three in the asana and do not overuse one at the expense of the other. Are you understanding?"

Pondering on each as I am doing the asana, asking the question of myself. Am I understanding? This is not a static answer but understood in the moment.

Since the intensive I've been playing a bit more within the poses, just for the delight and exploration. For example, in ardha uttanasana, with palms on the facing wall, walk in a bit so your heels come more under your torso than under your hips. Something I haven't done in awhile is bow pose, rocking over to one side and then the other, just for fun. Awakening.

Harvest Moon - September 2021

The last full moon of the summer. 

The moon was full Sept 20, 7:55 pm

This beautiful shot was posted by Chris Hadfield, with photo credit Andrew Yee @Toronto Comms, back in 2017. Since then the skyline has changed; water levels have risen and fallen; seasons came to pass.

Still timeless!
 

Happy Sixtieth!

It was a really great birthday! Covid still going strong, so there was no big bash. I figured I would save the party for my retirement.

Alex and Penny hosted a birthday dinner and invited Dave and Therese. Helium balloons! I kept them displayed for as long as possible. The champagne bottle lasted months! It was replaced by a retirement helium balloon in January.

September was a month of celebration. 

Rob spoiled me for my 60th. In September we checked out the McMichael and had an outstanding lunch  and visited the Royal Botanical Gardens, and went to Stratford to see two plays (performed outdoors). We also visited Liz and Darcy at their cottage rental on Lake Huron. 

This is a bit of a cheat, as I am writing this in September 2022. 

I went back to check out past birthdays and realized I hadn't made an entry for last year's milestone. In truth, I was a bit restless as I was trying to figure out the best time to retire. I felt a bit as though I were treading water, waiting and wondering what the best decision and timing would be... January 2022 I took the leap. 

Well, my 61st year was a good one!

Alex and Penny got married!!!

Having Alex and Parshvi get married in the back garden has made my happy place even more special.

Alex was beaming when Parshvi made her way through the garden to join him. 

Covid times, so the guest list was limited to just 16 people and Zoom made it possible for extended family and friends to witness. My brother sent me a screen shot and I was happy that everyone could take in the view. The sound wasn't audible, but everything was in Sanscrit anyway. We all relied on a program one of Parshvi's friends put together that helped explained the significance and meaning behind the ceremony.

There were offerings to the gods, encircling a small fire, joining together with the tying of scarves, and asking for blessings from the family. Deep thunder started rumbling shortly after the priest said his opening words, and I began making my own prayers to Ganesh. Thankfully the rain held off just long enough for the ceremony to finish and professional photos to be taken.

My friend Wendy catered incredibly delicious food, Rob tended the well-stocked bar. 

When the torrent eventually came, we ran inside for the speeches and toasts to the bride and groom. The rain showers ushered in a cool evening and a few people lingered outdoors under umbrellas.

Alex and Penny danced together under the fairy lights in the tree after the rain.

Magical!

August 2021 Full Moon

The moon looked full in the sky on Saturday night. 

Alex and Penny were over and we were doing what we could to prepare for their backyard wedding that is fast approaching. Using a borrowed step ladder,  Alex reached precariously into the high branches to string the lights while Penny and I offered assistance from the ground. When darkness fell, we turned on the lights for a magical effect.

Some enchanted evening!

Such a happy occasion, I didn't want to dampen the mood so surreptitiously lit my mom's funeral candle as the 21st was the third anniversary of her death. She would have loved to take part in the ceremony, but something tells me she will be there in spirit.

Sunday, August 22, 2021, at 8:02 AM ET, and is known as the Sturgeon Moon. Other names include the Fruit Moon, Grain Moon and the Green Corn Moon.

Summer Cruise

This month long sailing trip is the longest I’ve been continuously on the boat, leaving behind my routine worries and cares; and this summer vacation is the longest time without work since I've been 13 years old. 

July 18 to August 15:  30 days, 29 nights, and only 6 days on a dock.  

Eat when you're hungry, sleep when you're tired, mark the passage of time with sunsets and sunrises, jump in the lake, marvel at the sky, watch the weather and the wind, sleep soundly as the boat rocks gently, dream vividly, enjoy the world with heightened senses.

What a wonder-full time.

Bay of Quinte to Kingston

Trent Port Marina (dock) 2 nights

Sandy Cove (anchor)

Picton Yacht Club (dock)

Prinyer's Cove (anchor)

CFB Kingston (moor) 2 nights

Prinyer Cove

I was so impatient to arrive in the Thousand Islands and had to keep reminding myself sailing is all about the journey and not the destination. Still, it was eleven days from our home port before we anchored at Huckleberry Island.

Sandy Cove

We took the inside route and visited some ports we haven’t seen in several years, such as Trent Port Marina and the Picton Yacht Club. We also anchored overnight in Prinyer’s Cove for the first time and then wondered why it had taken so many years to check it out.

Slow going due to issues arising. When the fuel system still didn’t seem up to par we called a mechanic who tweaked some hoses (Trenton). Then, despite pump outs in Cobourg and Picton, the head seemed overfull. Thankfully Rob was able to fix the blockage at CFB Kingston Yacht Club with the helpful assistance of the OD, who started up the pump out for us.

In Kingston I needed to visit a walk-in medical clinic, because an insect bite from gardening the week before had turned into a full blown infection. My finger was so swollen I couldn’t remove my ring and I was concerned it would only worsen. The doctor lubed up my finger and tugged and twisted to remove the ring and then prescribed a topical antibiotic, along with some additional meds just in case the first option didn’t do the trick. Preventative medicine! 

Deadman's Bay

CFB Kingston was a pretty mooring. Despite the aggravations, every day was offering another beautiful view. Sunny days, rainy days, sunrise, sunset… so many beautiful sights. I knew I was 'over sharing' on Instagram and Facebook and in fact even apologized in advance for the coming onslaught. 

Thousand Islands

Huckleberry (anchor) 2 nights

Camelot (anchor) 3 nights

Leek (anchor)

Navies - Mulcaster (anchor)

Wolfe (anchor) 3 nights

Huckleberry Island

It took us eleven days to get to the Thousand Islands, and we explored for twelve more days. 

A pair of loons were fishing and we were the only boat when we first arrived at Huckleberry. It didn't take long before other boats joined, but the evening stayed serene.

When I posted our view from Huckleberry we got a warm welcome from fellow cruisers Fred and Jenn. They invited us to join them at Camelot, and were saving a mooring ball for us, when we grounded on rocks en route from Gananoque. Our C- Tow membership came in handy and no real damage done.

Camelot

It’s been a very long time since we had an extended stay in the Thousand Islands. There is always the worry of overcrowding. You need the right mindset, and can’t really pick a destination so much as have the destination pick you… if a spot is available, great. If not, move on. People are generally on the move between 9:00 and 11:00, so it is all about timing. Stays on mooring balls and docks are limited to three nights, so spots are always opening up.

The nicest surprise about the Islands was being able to get off the boat and explore the gorgeous National Park. Nicely groomed trails and well-kept campsites made for pleasurable hikes. Lots of native plants, mushrooms, and oak forests to explore along the rocks. We were able to explore Camelot, Leek and Georgina.

Fred and Jenn helped guide us along the way, saving morning balls and offering advice and dinghy rides. We also ran into Mark and Shelley from BPYC and spent some time with them.

On July 31, Alex asked whether he and Penny could have their wedding in our backyard on August 28! Of course! Which led to more than a few more calls and discussions to make arrangements for the big day. 

Wolfe Island

An Epitourist Rendezvous was planned on Wolfe Island for August 6. We made a quick stop in Gananoque for ice and a pump out before heading to Brakey Bay. Laura and Peter were gracious hosts to Kaarina and Mike; Caroline; Mike and Lynne; Rob and me. These were the first meals not eaten on the boat after 19 days! Also a chance to do some laundry and extended yoga sessions on flat land.

This year we used the Yeti cooler to supplement the ice box and it significantly extended the days before we needed to replenish our meat. Timing couldn't have been any better, as Laura advised we could provision online and pick up supplies at the Market on Wolfe Island Commons on Saturday morning.

We'd planned to head out Saturday afternoon but spent another evening due to threatening storms. The next morning we had a fog delay before heading to Prince Edward Bay.

Prince Edward Bay

Waupoos Island (anchor) 2 nights

Waupoos Marina (dock) 

Little Bluffs (anchor) 2 nights

Vandusan (anchor) 2 nights

swimming at Little Bluffs

A long day motor-sailing brought us into Prince Edward Bay and Waupoos. We anchored off the island for two nights. I think this was the most relaxed time of the trip. Swimming in familiar waters with no worries or cares. 

The third night it was into the marina to charge our battery, fuel up, get water and pump out. We hadn’t been tied to a dock since Picton Yacht Club… that’s a record for us… 15 nights! Extremely hot and humid, we were expecting more thunder showers that never materialized. The docks are pretty weedy and not great for swimming, so I cooled off by floating in an inflatable water chair. The heat killed any appetite. I wanted to get back out to anchor as soon as we could.

Over to Little Bluffs for a couple of nights. A friendly flotilla awaited of Ruby Tuesday, Alcione, and Sunglimmer. Great swimming weather! Evenings shared with Lynne and Mike, either on Sunglimmer or Yondering. I woke up one evening at 2:30 am and went on deck to watch the Perseid meteor shower in all its glory. The water was so still it reflected heaven's brightest stars. There were a couple of meteors with blazing tails that lit my dreams as I went back to sleep.

A dinghy ride to Black River Cheese for ice cream and hot dogs with Mike and Lynne. Rob forgot his shoes so I brought him his pralines and cream. This was the first - and only - restaurant meal of the entire cruise. 

The last morning of my vacation I arranged for a taxi. Rob, Mike and Lynne hopped out in Picton to gather provisions and I carried on into Belleville and took the train back to Toronto. Wearing a mask for the entire return trip was so confining after all the freedom on the lake. I was surprised the train seats were fully booked, as I thought with Covid they would be operating at a lower capacity. and the steward was wearing her mask below her nose.  Back to reality.

As we extended our stay in the bay, Rob agreed to solo home the following week. He sent me photos of rainbows and sunsets that made me a bit jealous. Who knew a month would go by so quickly?